{New recipe coming soon, I just felt this post warranted no recipe.}

You may remember a couple months ago I interjected a life post among a throng of recipes because I felt like sharing. I made a major decision to go off my hormonal birth control because I thought it was causing me mental health issues. Shortly after leaving the pill, I started feeling better and felt like I was on the right track.  I wanted to give my body a bit of time to recover before I started another option (I was researching the hormone-free IUD) but I wanted to update you 2 1/2 months later because life happened, again.

I think the only way to explain this is to start from shortly after I wrote that post (around the end of August). I had just visited Melissa in Minneapolis and when I got home, I started to feel a bit off which I attributed to the traveling (I always feel like a hot mess after I travel.) I let it be and continued on.

It was roughly a week later that I got up early to head down to my office. I started the car and ventured out into my neighborhood where I was cut off by a vehicle. I was so angry that I started yelling at the car which carried over into yelling at any other car I thought was doing something wrong (we’re talking yelling and fist shaking). This happened for about 5 minutes until I realized my entire body was shaking with anger. I asked myself why I felt like this and immediately started bawling. All I could think after that was two things: “what the hell?” and “oh crap, this is hormonal.”

I think you can guess where this story is leading and yes, I took roughly five pregnancy test that afternoon (best to rule out the obvious!), all of which came back: positive (and yes, it was at this point I started screaming).

I should note now before I go much further that we are ecstatic, over the moon about this. For many years we’ve always discussed what would happen if I couldn’t get pregnant given various reproductive issues (including a cyst that took my right ovary with it.) I think we both thought that when we decided to have kids, we could have to try and even that might not have worked. I don’t think we ever discussed what would happen if we could actually have a baby.

So here I was, staring at a bunch of sticks all telling me I was pregnant. Life happened, again. There was a part of me that had to laugh only because the week before Melissa had mentioned that it was the same time two years ago she was visiting a friend with an 11 month old and she got pregnant shortly after (it was a joke, but now I’m thinking it’s in the water.) When M got home that night, he and his nephew walked in and I asked M if we could talk. He looked at me funny and asked what it was about? I asked again to talk in private and his nephew shouted, “oh, you’re pregnant!” thinking he was going to make a funny joke (which he now feels bad for being the one to break the news to my husband but at the same time, it’s pretty funny.)

Truth is, we had talked about waiting for another couple of years before we started talking about kids (I liked to say we were starting to talk about talking about having children.) However, we can’t look at this any other way than a happy accident (and a pretty awesome realization that all my fears of not being able to have children flew out the window.)

I hesitated to even share this with you because it feels even more personal than the last post and frankly, I’m realizing more and more that I cherish my personal life being my own. However, it is exciting news and I also realize my comments and emails back, new recipes, and general presence on the internet pretty much dropped off over the past two months. I feel lucky that the first trimester treated me okay minus 2-3 hour naps every day and my new hatred of all coffee (including decaf!) I love all things potatoes (I’ve eaten more mashed potatoes in the past weeks than I have in my entire life) and found going to the grocery store to be a hit and miss game. I can already feel a slight uptick as I head into the second trimester but at the end of the day, all I care about is that the baby is healthy (which he/she is)!

So far, I’ve also realized that I can’t take on as much work or move as fast as I am used to doing. I’m learning the value of saying no, of slowing down, and of not trying to overwork myself (because I’m good at this.) There’s something to be said for moving a bit more slow and deliberate (it just took a couple months of me blowing nearly every deadline I had set pre-baby for me to realize this.)

So there you have it. Life happened and even though it was greatly unexpected, it’s cause for celebration. The bean is due mid-May and already we feel the shift in our attitudes and priorities. I keep telling people we’re 80% excited and 20% nervous (although I expect those numbers to change a bit as we get closer.) I was going to make a cake but I’m still playing catch-up on those blown deadlines and my energy in the kitchen has been a bit low. Instead, I’ll be celebrating with Chocolate Beet Cupcakes and Cornbread Pancakes (not together, don’t panic) in the near future.

Chocolate Beet Cupcakes with Chocolate Mascarpone Frosting | Naturally Ella
Cornbread Pancakes with Maple-Lemon Curd

And for those who keep coming back to my site, making my recipes, leaving comments, and sending me emails- thank you, thank you!

(PS- I promise to not get overly ‘baby’ on you. While I’m excited, this will remain a recipe site but I can’t be held accountable if my recipes reflect pregnancy cravings. I can almost guarantee you an influx of potato recipes. Probably smothered in cheese.)