Goals, Dreams, and Everything In-Between (including an eBook)

(I recently attended Alt Summit and below is post about it, well really, it’s more a post about all the confusion about this site and life I’ve been feeling- along with my future plans. I know this is a bit off track from my norm but I think this is how it’s going to be from now on.)

I wasn’t sure this post was going to happen or rather, I didn’t think I’d have my breakthrough to even think these words, let alone type them. I’d been excited about Alt for months after purchasing the ticket on a whim and even though I really didn’t have a concrete reason that I wanted to go, I thought it would be good. By the time Alt arrived, I was over-the-moon excited. I had this preconceived notion that I’d come back glowing, fully inspired. Only, the opposite happened. I came away kind of, well kind of “meh” feeling. I felt confused and to a certain extent, lost. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t have asked for better ladies to spend my time with and all the conversations we had were wonderful, but the overall conference left me in this ugly funk.

I tried talking out how I was feeling. I spent 12 hours in the Denver airport writing, brainstorming, and talking it out even more. I began to lay out a concrete plan for working more ways to monetize this site, grab sponsors, and move this into a business, using a few ideas I’d picked up. As I continued, I felt worse and more confused.

I couldn’t place my finger on it. I felt torn and at a major crossroads with this site, and really my life. I’m moving away from my family and leaving my career, which escalates how I feel about this space. I love my little space here, it’s so very special. 

I think part of my confusion came from my own self-doubt. I managed to build a block, a rather large one in fact. I had convinced myself that my education was everything and that I would never be good enough at something I picked up along the way to do it full-time.

And then I realized, I was hurting myself by thinking this way.

So here it is, my moment of revelation of goals and dreams. As of May, I’m going to pursue photography as a freelancer. I won’t be looking for another job but instead am going to immerse myself in what I’m so very passionate about. This site is going to become something more. Our food system in the United States is in utter disarray and here I have a chance to make a small difference by sharing my knowledge, getting involved in food politics, and promoting local farmers (I can’t think of a better place to do this than Sacramento). I feel that if I share my love of delicious, whole foods recipes, I can help inspire. I want to promote better lunches for the children in schools, I want to fight the big corporations with their processed foods, and I want to make amazing recipes to help show that a few vegetables and some spices can be awesome. I don’t want to stand on a soap box but rather, help educate and help be part of the solution that makes eating whole foods more accessible and a little less confusing.

On top of this, I’m working on a book proposal (don’t get your hopes up, however, this is the dream part). People have always asked if I would ever want to write a cookbook and I could never say “absolutely” because, I wasn’t sure of how it would be different from other cookbook. However, I feel like I have so many recipes to share that can help promote the route away from processed foods. I may not be a writer, but I love cooking and photography! I truly believe that knowledge is key and even knowing how to cook a few more things at home is a bit more power.

I created a book for Alt (thanks to Blurb, which by the way has the nicest ladies working for them) and after talking with a few people, I’ve put the iPad version up for sale (I wish I could do the physical book, but due to it being 150 pages in color, it’s a wee expensive). It’s mainly recipes from this site all put together but my I’m trying to see if there is interest, and maybe raise a bit of money to help me pull a proposal together (my own mini-kick-starter type thing)! Even if I don’t get picked up by a publisher, I’m planning on self-publishing, just to share.

It’s a big step in the opposite direction of which I thought I was going to go but I can’t tell you how excited I am. I really am not sure how this whole thing is going to turn out but I want to say that I tried. Because in the end, what good is knowledge and passion if you don’t share it? 

Big hugs to everyone for all of your support. It means the world to me!

(PS- Here’s the link to my eBook if you are interested in purchasing. It features 50+ recipes from this site. l I’m hoping to get a PDF one rather soon too.)

(PSS-There won’t be a drastic change to this blog. I’m hoping once I get to California to start profiling local growers, adding more resources, and hopefully removing the ads that I have a love/hate relationship with (they currently are helping M and I live 2000 miles apart)).